accomplished twins. life is a go
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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