And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
