you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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