Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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