I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
