i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
