Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize