is your mom at the bar?
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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