The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
