i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
