Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
