i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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