soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
