I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
