Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
im six kinds of drunk right now
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
