Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize