don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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