Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
