I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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