Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
