Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Drake has all the answers
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
