Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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