I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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