Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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