Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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