Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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