Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
