And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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