it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
