He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
