i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Randomize
