i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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