Fuck appropriateness.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
