so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
