So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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