Sponge bath it is.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
