i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
