are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
