pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
