God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
