he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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