Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
