Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize