You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
this is an emotional support booty call
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
