hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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