used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
