4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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