Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
