I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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