were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
