dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
