we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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