If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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