i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
