Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
