Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(256): View more from Alabama

He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me

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(239): View more from Florida

just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one

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(505): View more from New Mexico

His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub

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(804): View more from Virginia

We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.

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(360): View more from Washington

No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.

(1-360): View more from Washington

You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.

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(707): View more from California

One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?

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