There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
