Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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