you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
where am i from again
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
