At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
