"it" just moved
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
not ubering you a puppy
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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