Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
