idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
