the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
