toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
