why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I wear drunk well.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
