Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
