I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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