Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
