i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
its liver damage thursday
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
