i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
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