And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
