I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
