I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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