I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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