i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
