I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
