I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
