why didn't you poke me back
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
