we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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